Dear Editor,
I was recently skimming through an issue of The Houstonian and came across the article “Thieves take TVs from Fat Boys.” I didn’t even read the article because I was so outraged at the title. Fat people have names too! Why couldn’t you have named it “Thieves take TVs from Students” or “Thieves take TVs from the Horizontally Challenged.” I am sick and tired of these articles by Shawn Farrell. He is an insensitive [expletive deleted]. Word has it that he is a puny little fart that would get his [expletive deleted] whooped every day if it weren’t for his stud muffin of a younger brother. One time he even had a pair of tighty whities fall out of his pant leg onto the floor of a Fudruckers….BUT I DON’T SEE THAT IN THE PAPERS! Do yourself a favor and shut this guy up.
Sincerely,
Anonymous (but presumed to be the opinion editor’s [expletive deleted] younger brother