Love, Bearkat style–SHSU students share relationship discourse

With relationship books and self help advice flooding the shelves of bookstores and making the top 10 list, you’re making the authors and publishers of these books rich! Students Jennifer Alexandria and Wes Smith will tackle these problems and ask the tough questions that you are afraid to ask.

J: Why can’t guys pick up on the fact that we don’t always want to talk about sports or cars or them for the WHOLE night! Can’t you keep the subject matter to something we can both talk about?

W: I’ll be honest with youwe don’t know much else. Get us in a room with you ladies, when you talk about how you match up certain clothes or how you LOVE “The Bachelor.” (Which, by the way, is one of the comedy highlights of the season.) Stick to what you know. And you ladies know about shoes.

J: Can’t you tell by the look on our face that we don’t know what you’re talking about. And better yet, we don’t care! The most classic part about it is I will sit there with the most confused look on my face and you still try and explain what a carburetor is. But, I do give credit to those few who have noticed and stopped before I fell asleep. From all the girls out there that this has happened to, we thank you.

W: Come on! We blankly stare off into space when you talk aboutstuff!! I don’t even know what you’re talking about half the time because it’s mostly girly stuff! Why do you even try to pay for the date when we all know darn well that you are going to give up the fight?

J: We have to make the effort. Otherwise, we look like a spoiled brat who comes off as someone who EXPECTS you to pay. I have no intention of paying, especially if it’s a first date.

W: I understand the first date thing, but, when you start seeing each other over time, isn’t it ok if you pick it up every once in a while? I mean, money doesn’t grow on trees. If you want that nice watch that you have been drooling over, pay for the OCCASIONAL bill. Watch how much faster you get your prize.

J: Yes, I’ll pick it up once in awhile. But if you can’t afford it, don’t ask me out.

W: Touch. When is it appropriate to make the first move?

J: The moment has to be right. There’s not a specific time. But those nights when you’re walking back up the steps to your apartment and you’re deciding what do I do? Do I hug her? Do I kiss her? Those are just awkward. If you’re gonna kiss medo it before we get to the steps in front of the door. Save me the hassle of that stress. Anddon’t ask me if you can kiss me! Maybe back in high school that was cute and noble. But, what am I going to say? No? That would be awkward again! Just try it. You might be surprised!

W: God I hate that crap too. Vince Vaughn brought up that question in “Wedding Crashers.” I hate the awkwardness. Back to the point though, when is the right moment? I mean, some guys (notably me) have trouble reading your confusing signals. What do you want from me!?

J: For me, it’s easy to tell. If I don’t get those butterflies when I accidentally brush your hand while reaching for the popcorn, there’s probably no hope. And I’m not a shy one. You’ll know if it’s going nowhere.

W: Then don’t be shy! Make the move! That’s cool with me. Men have just been so screwed over by mixed signals (example: Mikey in “Swingers”) that they don’t have any idea what’s going on. You might think that the date is going down the drain, but we wouldn’t know cause we aren’t too bright and in tune with your signals.

J: Unfortunately, you are all too true. Why are you not more intuitive with these things? AndI know it’s the “new age” or whatever, but I’m still a classic girl and YOU must make the first phone call, the first move, and still pay the first bill.

Leave a Reply