Statistically speaking, women live longer lives than men. It’s true. My grandfather died in 1987, nearly twenty years ago; meanwhile, my grandmother just got braces.

Just kidding about the braces. But seriously, in almost every country around the world, women outlive men, sometimes by a margin of 10 years.

It makes me wonder what the heck women are doing to earn that extra decade of life. Is it their chicken salad lunches? Their book clubs and mineral waters? Their hair conditioner?

Perhaps it’s their never-ending search for true love that keeps them going. I was once told a funny story about a woman who survived five divorces in a span of 40 years. Having outlived all of her ex-husbands, she vowed to never give up on finding her “soul mate,” for she knew he was out there, somewhere, waiting.

Finally, at the age of 80, she met what she truly believed to be her “true love.” She was ecstatic. The woman wasted no time; she quickly scheduled her wedding for Monday and her funeral for Tuesday. Of course, this still doesn’t explain why men die at a younger age. And it doesn’t explain why, between ages 15 and 24 years, men are four to five times more likely to die than women.

Men, think about the things that you where doing between those ages. Incidentally, those years include puberty, getting your license, graduating high school and being able to legally purchase alcohol and cigarettes.

I must admit, I did do a lot of things that could have very well gotten me killed doing those years. They were very reckless times.

Of course, things don’t get any easier as you get older. Stress can shorten your life, and I want those extra 10 years that are so graciously granted to women.

Which is why I am moving to the Maldives, a place created entirely by men, for men.

The Maldives, officially the Republic of Maldives, is a collection of small islands in the Indian Ocean located about 450 miles west of Sri Lanka. Besides holding the record for being the flattest country on earth, Maldives is one of the only remaining countries in the world where men live slightly longer lives than women.

I’m not making this up. This phenomenon may be attributed to their ultra-relaxed lifestyle. For example, when it comes to politics, the Maldivian have no political parties. Why bother, right?

They also believe in sticking with a good thing; President Gayoom, their appointed leader, has been in office since 1978.In its capital city, appropriately titled Male, divorce rates are among the highest in the world. According to one census, nearly half the women over the age of 30 had been married four times or more. These guys get around. Did I mention that there are no seasons in Maldives, and they have elected to begin their weekends on Friday?

Its commonly referred to as “Heaven on Earth” by many of its visitors. If we could only pass some legislation to lift that pesky island-wide ban on alcohol it would be perfect.

Whadda ya say, Gayoom?