The best things in life are almost free

There goes an old saying that would claim that the best things in life are free.

I refuse to believe this, so I came up my own theory. The best things in life could possibly be free, but most times you’re going to have to pay at least a dollar for happiness.

There is good news and bad news. The bad news is that you have been lied to your entire life. I would like to be the first to apologize to you because as you get older you will discover that most of your life has been a farce. Whether it was the Easter Bunny, or your parents telling you that Toys R Us stopped selling toys, you have been played for a fool. I really believed my parents when they told me we would come back next week to buy my Terminator action figure. They are liars.

You will find that the world is full of it, and the things that keep us going are those fine moments in life. The laughter between friends is sometimes the best remedy for any situation. I believe that squirrels are plotting against the human race, but it still brings me joy to see them.

The good news is that the best things in life are relatively cheap. I love to shop and spend tons of money but whenever the funds run low I remain indifferent, and my general apathy toward everything remains constant. Once people realize that they don’t need what they see on the Social Brainwashing Apparatus, a.k.a. T.V., not only will they be happier, but they will more easily obtain the desires of their hearts as well.

The truth is that one of the best things in life is a smooth breeze. Nothing can compare to a breeze that runs up on you without warning, like finding a dollar in a couch cushion. What does this breeze cost? Perhaps twenty seconds of your time that would otherwise be squandered thinking about the test you didn’t study for.

What about “The Times?” Everyone on this earth has experienced “The Times.” “The Times” are those moments that you reflect on with friends, and no matter how long it has been since they happened, they always come to mind with smiles. How much did “The Times” cost me? I’m not certain, but I can assure you that they were relatively cheap.

It’s not that I don’t desire expensive things; it’s just that I can afford to live with out them. Some of the best things in life don’t include what I spend the most money for. I spend a lot for rent and a good deal for a car note and I don’t like that at all!

However, I bought a soccer ball for ten dollars, and despite the pain I feel in my legs it is one of the best things in life. I once won a stuffed animal out of one of those Screw-You-Sucker claw machines. I only paid fifty cents for that best thing. I went to Wal-mart with my friends and we had basket races in parking lot. That cost me nothing except the general public perspective that I possess some degree of sanity. Last night at Wendy’s I got a free drink without asking. My brother gave me the Life Aquatic Soundtrack for my birthday. That was totally free, and all I had to do was show love and give him a hug because he is my brother.

As I am writing this I am sipping on a delicious Chai Cream Tea from Kaldi’s. This beverage cost me four dollars. Even better was the fact that I had no money and I was only able to pay for it with the five dollars I found in my pocket. It was a kick in the head and is literally my cup of tea.

If I could sit around playing FIFA, drinking Chai Creams, holding my teddy, while listening to the Life Aquatic after playing soccer, then I would be in bliss. That’s right. Bliss. And how much did this cost me?


Bliss costs forty-four dollars and fifty cents.

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