The world is a scary place for a single girl trying to protect her heart. I have seen every one of my girlfriends get their hearts shattered, and yes, it has happened to me too. Yes, guys do use women for sex. I say “use” because that is all the guy is interested in and the girl just doesn’t realize it.
Some guys are really good at manipulating girls. They think they are “pimps” but they are just immature and can’t handle a relationship. They want all the goodies without putting in any of the effort that a relationship takes. Women need to learn how to spot this kind of guy and avoid him. Some girls might be ok with the whole hit and run thing, and that is fine as long as they understand from the beginning that that is all the guy wants them for. To me, being friends with benefits is just a nice name for being a guy’s bootie call, and I think that is degrading. Any self-respecting female knows that she wants a guy to be there for her and spend time with her outside of the bedroom.
So if you don’t want to be used by a guy, how do you keep it from happening? You really have to learn what to look for and take your time to find out what kind of person a guy really is. A typical guy that just wants sex from you wants to be alone with you, even though he hasn’t taken the time to really get to know you. For example, if he wants to come over, go into a bedroom at a party or drive you home, but he doesn’t want to take you out on a date and he doesn’t call much. Some guys actually start going through their lists of girls and call them late at night and ask to come over and if the first girl says no then they will call the next girl until one says ok. This kind of guy is pretty obvious; he is aggressive, confident and flirtatious. Most girls can see this guy for what he is but they end up getting feelings for him anyways. Just to watch yourself with a guy like this if you can’t just find someone else to like.
There are guys out there who don’t play games and who treat women with respect, but for some strange reason they end up at the bottom of most girls’ “to-do” lists. What does this teach guys? They see the “player” with the girls all over him and they want to be that way too. They learn that if they don’t call, you will.
There is another kind of guy that is even smarter with his game. This kind of guy will flatter you, call you, take you on dates and act like he really cares about you. There really isn’t a way to know if he is lying, which is so sad. The only thing you can do is to take things really slow and see if he is still the same person. It is easy to act sweet for a little while, but if it is fake it will take time to see the real person he is. What you have to keep in mind is that when you meet a guy, he is running game on you. All you know about him is the image he is trying to portray. He might seem really sweet or really innocent, but you don’t really know him. He is probably saying the same things to all the other girls he is talking to. Don’t ever think you are the only girl a guy is trying to get with. Don’t ever forget that you are a special girl and there is a guy somewhere who will realize it and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Don’t ever lose your self-respect and let a guy walk all over you. Get some rules and make him follow them.
The best thing to do is to date a couple of guys and I mean just date. Don’t get stuck on one guy and don’t rush into the physical things. It takes longer for a guy to develop feelings. If one guy doesn’t call or doesn’t seem to respect you, move on. Don’t waste your time worrying about a guy that is too busy chasing other girls. Eventually, you will find a guy who values you because you value yourself. Know exactly what you want and how you deserve to be treated. Don’t settle; just go to bed alone every night and wait for the right guy.