The universe thrives on balance. Yen and yang. Cowboys and Redskins. Pimps and hoes. Man and woman. Peanut butter and jelly. Squrrels and frogs. Good and bad. Good and bad.
I have come to understand and embrace all the universal equality, but the way good and bad works still puzzles me. Not on the scale of millions of people dying to Bill Gates giving millions to some African country. This has become more personal.
We all do good things, (at least I’d like to believe we have such moments), and I am more than certain that we all do bad things as well. How do we make sense of it all when two actions are so extreme?
This past weekend I had a show in Galveston at the Baliense Room. My friends and I were running out of booze money so we decided to put a show on for the people walking on the seawall. We made about eight dollars and met this cool hippie lady who sung to us about “Candy” which was quite arousing. We had just decided to get a six-pack of delicious Coronas when a homeless man approached me. He told me that he had been wandering since he was dropped off in Galveston, and showed me where a sting ray and attacked him in his sleep. I held back my tears as I gave funds meant for desecrating my temple to this older male who had to ask me for cash. He began to sing songs of faith about Jesus and at this point I knew that it was my Lord speaking through this male. Before it was over, I had given him all the hooch money. Beautiful thing? Good deed? Yes. Fact is, that weekend I cut off 20 cars on purpose, and I even got this one guy three times before he exited and flicked me off.
On Monday I was coming from playing soccer and was accruing my usual Powerade from HEB. I was pulling off with windows down and Bob Marley blaring when a man rushed my car and asked me for a ride. I thought nothing of it and let him, for I could gather that he was in need. It wasn’t until halfway down Sam Houston Ave. that I realized that this man was leading me to the slums and that he could pull a jack move.
I put it out of my mind and kept driving as we talked about women, Bob and college life. When I pulled over for him to get out he asked me if he could have some change out of my ashtray. I poured out into his hand and drove off.
Beautiful thing? Good Deed? Yes. The truth is that I stole someone’s iron and with the help of my Android/Cyborg, Ramon, I sent them a ransom letter saying “Send $1,000,000 in unmarked bills to Brook Place 716 A or the Iron Gets it!”
Between my philanthropy, I find it in myself to steal, vandalize, throw drinks at my Android/Cyborg and commit the every day road rage. (It really is getting out of hand. A few weeks back I raced going 75 in a 30). But when I’m not breaking the law, I give rides and money, offer advice, am a shoulder to cry on, pray for people and find myself one homeless person away from an emotional breakdown.
Good and Bad. Cheech and Chong. Savory and Unsavory. Decaf and delicious Caramel Macciato. Starbucks and Kaldis. Rick Perry and Kinky. There is a part of me that truly believes that squirrels are out to get me, and there is a part that wants to own one as a pet named China Man.
Are you a good person? Are you a bad person? Am I a good person? Am I bad person?
I don’t know. Let’s settle for mediocre.