I miss you, cupcake


Man, just the word makes me happy. Never mind all the chocolate and French fries and cheese that I can’t eat on my diet.

Food. I love it. I really do. One of my goals for later on in my life is to travel all over the world and eat all of the delicacies each country has to offer.

Never mind the fact that, at this point in my life, it really does make a difference whether I weigh 125 or 135 for even the closest people in my life to tell me I look like I’m taking care of myself. Making that distinction means depriving myself of food I enjoy eating to fit a certain mental image of what a 21-year-old college girl is supposed to look like.

I got on a diet a couple of months ago, and so far, it really isn’t that bad. Aside from being jealous as all hell of my guy friends when they eat Jack in the Box in front of me, it’s really just boiled down to eating right and working out several times a week.

A lot of people have asked me why I got involved in something like this in the first place. I know a lot of people might do it to get more attention, to impress someone else, or just to feel better about themselves and live a healthier life.

One of the things I’ve realized is that you can’t diet for anyone but yourself. If you’re dieting for a specific guy or girl, and for some reason things don’t work out with that person, you automatically want to drive to McDonald’s. It happens.

That’s because in everyone’s mind, there’s always that little voice pushing us to be better, or more attractive or more accepted, and when our efforts fail, our motivation takes a beating. The only way to avoid that is to make sure that you’re making all of this effort only for yourself, to make yourself happier and/or healthier.

I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that when I’m at the gym and some ridiculously good looking guy walks by, I don’t start running a little faster. It’s the same when some really pretty, well-toned girl walks by, but for a different reason. We all want to meet an ideal, and even if our motives really are on the right track of being healthy and mindful, there’s always that underlying temptation to think, “If I lose weight, maybe that attractive person will like me.”

It’s instinctive but stay away from it as much as you can. We don’t live in a world where the intelligent, funny and smart people have an edge over the hot ones, but we should, and as we mature, we get closer to thinking that way individually. Maybe someday, the idea of cool will be a person sitting around drinking beer and eating pizza, having a great time and being genuinely happy with where they are in life.

In the meantime, I’ve come to terms with the fact that being healthy and looking like it is just another thing that people usually appreciate in those around them.

I miss you, cupcake, but you’re just not worth it to me at this point.

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