Once captured, many serial killers are described by their family as being “shy, but well-mannered.” They then go on to say that they “can’t believe he is capable of anything like this” while his friends may describe him as “a really sweet guy.”

People that others describe as “really sweet” worry me. I always feel as though they are trying to mask some deep, evil dark side. People often describe my girlfriend as “really sweet”; when in reality, she is quite insane. So as a general rule, I try to avoid making friends with anyone who does not have at least one enemy. It keeps me safe. When someone tells me that they do not like a friend of mine, I am not insulted; I am reassured. It lets me know that my friends are not crazy. In fact, one of my closest friends has several enemies, and I trust him with my life.

The only problem is, as more crazy people begin to intermingle with the general population they are becoming harder to spot. Technology has led to the evolution of crazy people. The clinically insane are now in the minority – in terms of people who talk to themselves in public; nowadays a crazy man can hold a conversation with himself for hours, under an unspoken public assumption that this man must be using a Bluetooth.

There are two types of crazy people, the first, are those who have been crazy for years.

These types are fully aware that they are crazy and wouldn’t have it any other way.

The guy walking on Highway 45 at midnight? He’s not homeless, he’s crazy. He has friends. He has a car. His friends have cars. But he just prefers to walk alongside 80 mph traffic because he has lost his mind.

The second, and far more dangerous types, are those who are going crazy. It’s a very gradual process. Day by day, these people lose small bits of their mind; pieces so small that it is almost unnoticeable. Then one day, someone steals their newspaper, and they arrive to work three hours late holding a Japanese sword.

Of course there will always be that one survivor who says, “I never understand it, he was such a sweet guy.”

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