Mad Brad: Danger!

I have run into a dilemma, a doppelganger dilemma. My boss, Katelyn, told me that while she was having a great time at Zach’s, she saw a man who she thought was me. He had the “Brad Basker” hat cocked to the left side, and was my spitting image.

This man was not me.

It has become more and more apparent to me that I have a doppelganger lurking through the streets of Huntsville, and this is not the first time that someone has mistaken another for me. One time a woman approached me and said “Brad Basker, I saw you at the courthouse with your girlfriend.” I told her that this was impossible. I didn’t have a girlfriend, and I have never been to court. But she insisted that it was me. She said “No, Brad! You were there with your girlfriend, and both of you had afros.” I told her that if I had a girlfriend and legal issues that I am certain I would know it better than she.

I went to the only “afroed” couple that I know, asked them and they told me that they were in court recently. I look nothing like this man! I am 5 inches taller and two shades lighter. He even informed that he has been mistaken for me before.

I think I believe in parallel dimensions. Like if in this world, in Huntsville, Texas, Dimension Unsavory- I wore boxers today. In the world of Villehunts, Texas, Dimension Savory- I wore briefs. Could it be that Bradley from Dimension Savory is here to take my place? Perhaps things aren’t so great in Villehunts and he decided to break interdimensional laws and is here to exterminate me. He wants everything I have. My Jane Austen collection, boxers, wigs, and Irish Spring body wash are all part of his desires.

It’s not my fault that he was born in a crappy dimension where people wear their hats on the right side of heads. That’s ridiculous. I love Huntsville, and being unsavory, so if this “evil-twin” wants my life then he’s going to have a fight on his hands.

You’re laughing at me, but you shouldn’t. If I have a doppelganger, then you do too!

Just take a look around you while you’re on campus. Have you ever seen a person that looks just like you, or had someone tell you that they saw you when you know they didn’t? Did you think it was coincidence? No! We are in danger of a Doppleganger Invasion the likes of which we’ve never seen in this era. Do you think Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, Michael Vick and OJ Simpson are really that stupid? We better pray that their doppelgangers have taken over their lives and run their careers into the ground, because if people are that stupid then interdimensional invasions are the least of our worries. While on the topic of celebrities, apparently I look like Morgan Freeman. Not quite so now, but like in 50 years I could.

Maybe there are no doppelgangers. That guy might be my long lost cousin. But even if my evil twin is out there, I believe we can co-exist. He just needs to wear his hat on the right side of his head.

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