I love you. Three words that pack a punch of positivity that are known in every culture on this Earth. It is our way of expressing to someone that we care so much for them that our own personal needs are second on the to-do list.
Love is not a thought process. It is a realization. You spend so much time with a person that you can’t stand to be away from them. It starts off as an hour conversation about nothing on the phone, and then moves to hour-long conversations face-to-face. Then one day in mid-conversation the tension becomes too much to contain, and you climax.
“I love you.”
Signed and sealed with a kiss.
That’s what I believe love is. However, in my 21 years of experience, I have learned to differentiate between what people really mean when they say the three letter word. The confusion begins when you reach the point in life where members of the opposite sex aren’t as repulsive as they used to seem.
I used to argue with little Kateri Vaclavik all the time, but then one day I realized that I enjoyed arguing with her. I even named my first cat after her. My crush was a classic example. Some would say it’s cute and others would throw up. It was natural and honest.
Unfortunately, my puppy love was more potent than over half of the uses of “I love you” that I see today. People will say, “I love you” for any reason these days. I had a girlfriend once. I asked her to be my lady while we were making out during the third installment of “The Lord of the Rings.” It was a great night. I made out, had a girlfriend and saw the conclusion of my favorite trilogy. Three weeks later, I told her that I loved her. I didn’t love her. I loved the idea that I had validated love in my head through a process.
It’s not that our intentions are ill, it’s just a misuse of a word that used to mean something. So many times you make someone smile with a joke, or do someone a favor and they will say these words to you. They don’t mean that they are in love with you. They love what you did for them. If they loved you, they would be able to say it when you cry, when you’re at your lowest or when you have to correct them. Do they still love you then if you have to be honest with them?
It goes both ways. You can say that you hate something but do you really carry that far degree of distain?
“I hate Mondays!”
Do you really? It’s possible, but in all likelihood you’re just having a bad Monday. Next Monday could be the best day of your life but would you still hate Mondays?
Then there are those that use the four letter word as a tool to achieve their other motives. For some girls “I love you” is the ultimate pickup line.
“I do love you girl. You’re the only one for me.”
“Do you mean it Ron? I told my friends you did. I love you too.”
It’s horrible, but still simple. He doesn’t love her. He loves her unmentionables.
Whether it’s for a compliment or the pursuit of unsavory consummation in a dorm room, “love” is a four letter word that should not be used so lightly. Say what you mean and you can save everyone a lot of trouble. The word is so much more special when you save it for the right time. Even in “Anchorman” when Brick said he loved lamp he really meant it.
You may love my editorials, in which case I love that you read them. But we are not an item. Maybe my future lover is reading this, but until then, let’s keep it on an editorial basis.