Mad Brad: The Social Smokers Discord

The results have been in for a while now, and I doubt there are many who argue that smoking tobacco is good for you. Many have perished, and undoubtedly more will follow.However, I believe that the use of cigarettes as a social networking agent is not discussed as much as it should be. Not everyone smokes because of a lack of personal resolve to quit. Years ago my high school partying was the gateway to smoking. Her name was Stephanie, and she had kind eyes. She taught me to shotgun my first brew, and shared my first cigarette with me. From that day I gradually went through the levels to becoming a member of the Social Smokers Alliance which says, “We smoke because at the moment it strikes us.”I wasn’t sworn into the alliance until I went to Europe. Europeans know how to smoke, and make you feel welcomed to do so. Despite everything I had been taught about smoking, I couldn’t help but to always have a pack of Lucky Strikes on me. The packs in Italy said, “Il fumo cattivo per lei. Lei morir.” or something to that effect, but I continued to smoke, and give in smoking. It was impossible for me to go to a caf and not have a puff to accommodate my Bailey’s Irish cream on the rocks. When I got back to the states, I brought back souvenirs and a chain-smoking habit.However, smoking for me was never an addiction; it was a casual act of socializing. Cigs are like an accessory to the lifestyle. When I was double fisting and carrying a pack of Lucky Strikes, I was ready for any situation. But when I made changes to more positive paths, my smoking gradually declined. There was no longer a need for me to smoke without the idea that I needed them to socialize.I never understood people who smoked in between classes, and I still don’t get it. It seems highly uncomfortable. The combination of inconveniently placed hills on campus and smoking can only equal chronic fatigue, which leads to abundant body odor. On the other hand, I am against the misconception that women who smoke are not attractive. I believe this is a matter of perception. If you’re not a smoker, then of course a woman inhaling thousands of chemicals is not exactly an aphrodisiac. But I recall when I smoked there was nothing more attractive than a woman who could share in my experience. If a lady was in need of one, I would be glad to oblige, and could always score extra points by lighting it up for her. If I happened to lack one, she could readily supply me, and bumming is always a foot hole for conversation.It has been years since I met the requirements for the exclusive smoking alliance. I’ve traded social smoking for casual social awkwardness. It’s extremely addictive and makes me happy. One day I’ll have a family, and it’d be nice to experience life in full. I’d much rather make my children feel awkward than have them go through my untimely demise. The Social Awkwardness Initiative statement is, “Because smoking kills you.”

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