Mad Brad: T.V. or Not to Be

When I was young I believed that I wasn’t from this world. Anything that took me away from reality was my domain. My action figures had character and plot development, and I wrote down their adventures in my journals. Much of my inspiration came from movies and television. Shows like Nickelodeon’s Weinerville and Stick Stickly on Nick in the Afternoon were all I needed to make me smile. Saturday mornings were as essential to a child’s development as IronKids Bread and ABC’s. From 8 to 12 in the morning there was a string of some of the most innovative TV you could ever see. I remember waking up at 11 and crying because my day was ruined. Saturday was no fun without my cartoon fix. Legends of the Hidden Temple, The Adventure’s of Pete and Pete, Eek the Kat, Doug and Rocko’s Modern life were just some of the shows that defined being a kid. If you didn’t have a Fox Kids Club card, then you were nobody, and you probably aren’t very cool to this day. Unfortunately, there has been a decline in the originality of today’s entertainment, and I fear for the future of the youth. They’re being deprived of programs like Ren & Stimpy in exchange for Hannah Montana. That girl has a split personality and everyone thinks it’s the coolest thing. She might need therapy.Power Rangers was the cornerstone of childhood. Everyone wanted to be one, and wanted to date the pink ranger. I used to tell people my name was Zach, after the black ranger. A part of me always wanted to see Zach and Kimberly get together, so that I could live vicariously through their relationship from the comfort of my home. I knew the world was going to hell when someone felt the need to send the Rangers on space journeys, safaris and time travel. The new Knight Rider premiered, and I was less than enthused. I thought losing an intramural basketball game would prove more lucrative than seeing the legend of The Hoff dragged through the mud. Also, I caught the end of the new American Gladiators and was disgusted. I can’t get used to watching several greased up guys when I know what a true gladiator is. If you don’t have a mullet, flat-top haircut or a name like Turbo or Zap, then you are no gladiator.There is a money game being played, and the strategy is brilliant. You can make more revenue without doing any extra work. George Lucas has got to be a prophet. By releasing episodes 4-6 first, he gave himself an excuse to come out with 1-3. Thirty years later, another zillion dollars has been piled on Lucas Ranch. He was taking a bath in liquid gold while we complained about Jar Jar Binks. If anyone had the ability to start an intergalactic empire it would be George. He has the means, and has 6 features of films which outline how to not let an evil empire crumble. He cannot be stopped.I don’t believe anyone is immune to the trends of revamping classic entertainment, and I don’t think that all remakes are horrible. I just worry about the kids, and want them to know the joys of childhood like I had. Our kids may never know who David Hasselehoff is, and that is no future I want to be a part of. The only movies I tend to see are ones that make a lot of money. If it’s not projected to make at least 100 million at the box office then I doubt I’ll go see it.

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