Key Words: A modest proposal.

A lot has been said lately about extending the bar hours in Huntsville to 2 a.m. This idea is clearly ridiculous.

Huntsville should not have limited drinking hours at all.

One of the main reasons we should eliminate restrictions on bar hours is safety. If students cannot drink until whenever they feel like in Huntsville, they will do one of two things.

They will drink until midnight in Huntsville, then drive drunk to Conroe to drink until 2, followed by an even more intoxicated drive back to Huntsville.

The other option mentioned is that students will cut Huntsville out of the equation entirely, go drinking in Conroe, then drive back to Huntsville drunk at 2 a.m.

Basically, we should set city ordinances to cater to drunk drivers.

People who are dumb enough to drive while intoxicated are going to do it just as much after midnight as they are at 2 in the morning.

They will be just as dangerous coming back from Conroe as they will be leaving local bars.

No plan in the world can counter the amount of stupidity necessary to get behind the wheel while drunk, so we should not try at all.

Eliminating restrictions will also cut down on the amount of house parties in Huntsville.

Since house parties are known for their strict policies against underage drinkers and charging people high prices per drink, there will be absolutely no reason for anyone to ever choose going over to a person’s house over Shenanigan’s or Tops and Bottoms again.

It has also been argued that extended bar hours will attract more students to SHSU because, as the Houstonian itself put it, “let’s face it, partying is a big part of college.”

Sam Houston should entirely stop focusing on raising our academic prestige. We should be known for doing what we do best, as a party school.

Taking away drinking restrictions will offer something no other college has, and it will attract exactly the type of Bearkat we’re looking for.

Despite what your position is, there’s one thing we can all agree on: we definitely shouldn’t listen to the people who say that no matter what the hours, some people will drink responsibly and other will not.

If we want to make the streets safer, we shouldn’t do something crazy like advocate a plan similar to SFA’s Driving Jacks or A&M’s CARPOOL and provide free non judgmental rides home to those who’ve had too much to drink.

No, extending drinking hours is definitely the best way to make Huntsville a safer place.

Leave a Reply