The Octogenarian – Top Seven Excuses Not to Vote

As you probably know, Tuesday is Election Day. Statistics tell us that most young voters, including college students, will not show up at the polls. Our constitution gives you the right to vote, but it also grants you the choice of not voting. To help you not feel guilty about your choice of not voting, I am listing here seven legitimate excuses for you to stay away from the polls.

But this is not about me, because statistically we know that the old folks do vote, so let’s get to those reasons for you to not show up Tuesday:

1. Because you want to keep your crippling student loan debt.

Most of us here on campus have student loans. We live in a debtor-protected nation, except for us students. The American Banksters paid your legislators to make your student loan the only debt that cannot be relieved under the U.S. bankruptcy laws. Never mind that the student debt problem is one of the three most immoral happenings perpetrated upon the American public by the greedy, immoral, un-American, unregulated Bankster industry in your lifetime. It is a burden on our economy and today’s existing student loan debt will bring in over a billion dollars in profit and could be considered un-American as a threat to our economy. We must protect the Banksters and their bought-and-paid-for legislators, so that is a good reason not to vote. And what the heck, it is not my problem either because I am in my eighties. Before I get to pay my student loans off, based on statistics, I will probably be dead and buried. Death is the only way out of my student loan debt. By the way, please do not tell the Banksters of America or they will probably invent a way to make me pay from the grave. (The current congress failed to pass relief for student loans. By not voting, we are keeping them in power.)

2. Because you’re in favor of kicking illegal citizens who were brought to America by their parents out of the country.

That girl at the desk next to yours in English class was born the same month that you were, went to your high school and may even be a little better student than you. But she’s different in that you were born in your hometown and she did not get to hers until she was two years old because her mom, who was born in another country, gave birth to her in that country. She is known as a dreamer and lives with the constant fear of being deported to a foreign country that she knows nothing about because of the prejudice of some legislator that you help keep in office by not voting. You do not have to vote because you do not care about what is moral or fair and you will at least wave goodbye to her when she is deported.

3. Because you want everyone to stay panicked about Ebola.

Ebola? Does not bother you none. No Ebola on my campus. Of course, if we had somebody knowledgeable in charge like a United States surgeon general, he or she could have had the bully pulpit to keep us informed of the real facts, rallied all of our medical talent and stopped the epidemic in Africa or, perhaps, something even simpler and closer to home, have arranged that a country as rich as ours would have more than nine qualified, properly staffed hospital beds in this entire nation to treat this disease and, especially, since three of those beds are already occupied by Ebola patients. So, why is there no Surgeon General in charge to guide us? Oh, that president in the White House appointed one, but our legislators are not going to look out for us citizens as long as a Democrat is sitting in the oval office. So do not vote, because we do not need a surgeon general or intelligent, intellectual and patriotic legislators.

4. Because you don’t care about women’s rights.

Women’s Health? Now hold on, my mom and my sister can afford to pay a doctor for a female health checkup. They’re lucky, but what if a female has health issues and she cannot afford treatment? Your governor and legislature has, in the phony name of preservation of life, cut off the vast majority of women who cannot afford health care in the state of Texas, including cancer screenings and contraception, but we all know that women shouldn’t be “doing the nasty” anyway unless they are privileged and have enough income and money to afford it. So don’t vote and we can keep those same anti-female lawmakers and enforcers in office.

5. Because you think marriage is confined to one man and one woman.

You remember those two girls in your political science class? They really seem to be very fond of each other, and you even heard they might be planning a wedding. Only not here in Texas! If they do go out to a civilized state and get married, they can’t come back to Texas and be recognized as a married couple. Why should I vote just to give them the same human rights that I have?

6. Because you think Houston looks better with smog.

Back in the 1960s, I flew in and out of Houston a lot. On a good day, you could clearly recognize the city by the dome of smog hanging over it.  In fact, there was a big hub-bub when an Eastern Airlines pilot reported it as an air traffic and health hazard and was fired for truth-telling. We, as college students, know how phony science is and that our legislators know that we no longer need the Environmental Protection Agency because our environment doesn’t have to be protected from profiteers and the legislators that they own.

7. Because you like being disenfranchised.

I can’t leave out that major reason not to vote and that is that the party in power here in Texas for the last couple of decades doesn’t want you to vote. They are afraid that you might disagree with some of their political views. In fact, they are so afraid of you and some others that they have resurrected a pseudo-Jim Crow law to disenfranchise voters. But under the new guise of voter fraud protection, Jim Crow is making it harder for senior citizens, Hispanic citizens, black citizens, poor citizens and students to register and cast their vote. Well heck, this is America, so it’s alright that if you can’t win legitimately, make up new rules so you can’t lose legitimately. And if you don’t want to protect your right to vote, if you’re willing to accept restrictions on your ability to vote based on absolute lies told to your face, then just don’t make the effort to vote.

As Texans, we always want to be number one – outstanding in whatever we do – so let’s follow through with what we older voters have given our prosperous state such as we are the leader.

We have the highest percentage of uninsured children of any of the fifty states in the nation, so don’t vote and we can keep the same legislature and install a poor carbon copy in our state executives.  However, we need a lot of work because  we are only the fourth highest state in percentage of people living below the poverty level, so,  don’t vote and keep our leaders and perhaps this go-round we can be the boast the highest. We are so close to first place as the state with only the second-highest percentage of people going hungry. We have a lot to do as we are in last place in the percentage of residents with high school diplomas.

However, we are number one in one aspect: we do have the nation’s dirtiest air, so breathe deep and be proud.

I do love you guys, but please, if you miss it this election, take on your responsibilities next time. It is your foot you are shooting into.

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