Halloween safety for single ladies

Let me tell you a little something about Halloween, unquestionably the finest holiday of the year. Halloween is the most gloriously sugar-buzzed wonderland, full of awkward cosplay foreplay and cheap alcohol.

As women, some of us like to play with our more sexual sides, but this can lead to some unwanted creepy-crawly attention. You know the creepy crawlies I am talking about, the ones that think they are a hot potato because they can hide behind a mask or some horrifically boring costume while groping naughty nurses without their consent.

It is all spooktacular fun and games until the weirdoes have to ruin it for everyone.

My mother being the angel that she is, has nagged me into the next century about being overly safe. I have compiled a few tips along with some that I thought she might have mentioned when I just was not listening. So do not worry girl, I got you.

Let us talk about accessories. Heels are fun, but what is even more fun – shoes that you can comfortably run or jump a fence in when fake Hannibal is chasing you down. Feeling those Goth dagger earrings? How about a pocket knife that clips to the waist of your skirt or tucks in the pocket of your daisy dukes. And always remember the classic key chain pepper spray. It is a classic for a reason, a face full of that spicy juice and he is not coming back.

Watch your alcohol intake. Getting “turned up” with seemingly nice childhood friends, Mario and Luigi, might start out in a fun zone, but they might just turn out to be Bowser when you are not feeling them anymore but they keep trying to hit it from both sides on the dance floor. The best way to stay on top of your game and out of theirs is to always remain in control of the situation and your ability to make the best judgments for your own safety.

That said, do not leave your drink unattended. Get your drink yourself, and make sure it is not from an open container. If you suspect that you have been given a date rape drug, call 911 and get help as soon as possible. It might take from 8-12 hours for you to know something is wrong. Do not urinate and do not wash yourself or your clothes. Some forms of the drug leave your system quickly, but for some you have up to 72 hours for it to be detected. Tell a medical official that you need a urine test for the date rape drug and a rape kit.

Travel in groups. Nothing is more intimidating than a gang of fierce ladies. Watch each other’s backs and take care of one another. Do not let your friends disappear with strangers, no matter how cute they are in that Where’s Waldo costume, and always stay in public areas.

Halloween is great fun, so do not be scared (unless you are in a haunted house). Just take some precautions and know how to protect yourself and your friends and you will be fine. Have fun being whatever naughty or not-so-naughty thing you want to be and do not let the creepy crawlies get you down.

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