#NoForce 2016: Live, love, and be merry

Alas! A new month dawns and a new wave of interest, movements as well as concerns unearth as though always abroad. St. Patti’s Day is on its way, and hey maybe even spring will actually start to feel a bit like spring. Digressing from that, I tread back to a topic consistently discussed, but not in my opinion in the right way.

Though February has come and gone, leap day with it to add an extra lasting effect, so has seemingly the vie for romanticism and a special love to spend that month defining commercial contrived holiday giving our economy a slight boost as well as our beating hearts.

As college students our shift of interest is taken over by midterms, wild plans for the most epic spring break ever, and if you’re a senior–graduation. My point? Well, despite the wave change, as hard as it may seem to imagine, there still are couples out there striving to solidify their longevity, and lonely souls searching the earth for a completion to their seemingly empty lives.

Though I can concur with those satisfied in their singledom, the fact remains that there are the select few that seek that special one for them, but can’t wrap their heads around what specific issue has them stagnant in their progress towards such. And that, my friends is my point. The “why” we never truly address, or if we do, don’t actually seek a truly conquering solution for. Let’s talk.

Before going any further, I must exterminate the belief that any couple is alike in any way; that any two people have the same things to which will make their dull eyes sparkle again. I ask you to read that first sentence again and take heed when I say stop comparing.

With that I must go even further in saying that there exists a variation across ethnicities through cultural phenomenon within those differing groups, creating a difference in issues, way of dealing with said issues and statistics, you can look up on your own time, across cyber space that prove such.

While there are similarities that exist from couple to couple, those differences are so very important in understanding what is not ever going to work for a person and what specifically will. A quick glance back into your own upbringing will even provide that same understanding of what precisely you need as opposed to what your friend and her budding situation thrive off of.

In all of this, what one can truly grasp as a holistic concept is that a basic understanding of yourself, that you’ve truly taken time in developing through real life experience and some slight work in introspection is one of the greatest gifts you can give to any relationship you decide to grant an honest attempt to.

Know yourself… at least a little bit. Otherwise, keep in mind that you and whomever is that lucky significant other you have a keen interest in, may be in for some surprise arguments you can’t seem to find the solution to. Which leads me to my next point.

I shouldn’t have to say this, and even when I do the true meaning of such may still go over the heads of few, because when people hear that “Communication is key,” for some reason they think that only entails talking a problem out. Not quite it. Empathy is understanding and understanding is kind of key before you attempt to just communicate.

Don’t you think?

If I try to communicate an emotion I am feeling due to a crisis event, the person on the other end of the conversation may very well completely not get it at all if they do not put themselves in my shoes, truly taking in what is going on in my head and heart to cause such an emotion, leading then to frustration on both ends at the lack of understanding and creating a breech in that attempted communication.

This is where most go so very wrong, because instead of being empathetic to the other person, people push for an understanding of their own case or even expect an understanding of their case as if the explanation of such is written on the walls. It is not, friend, it is not.

I say #noforce2016. What is meant to be, will be. Trust me! Live, love, be merry. You have a greater likelihood in attracting that of whom will truly work for you naturally, then with force in habits that aren’t really you, but those you read and adopted from some editorial column on how to hook, line and sink that hunk you’ve been eyeing. Just chill. They’ll come. Your higher education deserves a little more of your attention anyway.

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