Relationships: Oversexualized and lack chivalry

In today’s time, the word dating has an extreme negative connotation that strings along with it.

Many girls are afraid guys are simply trying to have sex with them, while guys assume girls are just wasting their time. Today’s society has made it nearly impossible to navigate one’s way through the dating scene.

First let’s look at the possibilities for dating.

People can meet in person, but lately apps such as Tinder have been taking over. Instantly these apps make people look past personality and observe only looks and how much information one can shove into a short bio to make one’s self sound dateable.

This makes dating an oversexualized endeavor right from the beginning. How can two people start dating when personality becomes an “added bonus” rather than a reason to date? This oversexualized experience creates a terrible foundation for the dating scene today.

It used to be that people would talk in person maybe once a day on the phone. Thanks to technology this is no longer the case. People are constantly talking to one another through texting, snapchat or other types of social media and constant chatter can sometimes be too much for some people. Everyone needs their space, even those that are already in relationships. Too much time with one person is never a good thing.

When people do actually meet for a date, the dates are completely different than years ago. Rarely do people actually go out to nice dinners, mostly its grabbing a beer or everyone’s favorite – “Netflix and Chill”.

What has happened to picking up a girl and going to a nice dinner, dancing afterward and then after walking her to the door and giving a kiss goodnight? These types of dates no longer exist.

Clearly this sets out the path to the death of chivalry. Guys are no longer concerned with doing things for the girl they like, rather they are more focused on taking off their pants.

 I have watched guys treat girls like trash just because sex is the main goal. For some reason girls believe what these boys (boys, not men) are saying. Thus they fall for these boys and are used for sex.

Girls start believing that every man is like this and won’t give any guy who truly proves to be the opposite of these sex crazed boys the time of day. In turn, girls begin to turn to other guys who are only interested in sex and the cycle beings to repeat itself once again, giving the guys who are truly interested in a relationship no reason to exemplify chivalry and thus killing it altogether.

The oversexualized dating scene makes getting to know someone nearly impossible.

It forces people to become too intimate too fast and doesn’t allow chivalry to even exist. People are jumping into bed together with knowing almost nothing about one another, and then complain when things don’t work out with one another.

From this a world is created where people who are wronged by the dating scene do not want to jump back into it. People want to avoid this dating scene all together and be by themselves. Numerous guys and girls are unwilling to give new people chances to enter their lives because it involves the possibility of getting hurt by this “Netflix and Chill” era of dating.

It is no wonder why less marriages work out, and why less relationships last.

Through over sexualized dating and too much social media communication, dating has become a lost art today. Maybe one day men and women will recognize there is more to dating then sex and appearance.

Hopefully dating can return to being with people who generally enjoy each other’s company. Until then, the art of dating is lost, and with it the chivalry of all men.

There are 2 comments

  1. Chaos Engineer

    My grandmother always said that Chivalry died at the Red Wedding.

    That said, people do still go out for nice dinners. You can verify this for yourself by going to a nice restaurant and looking for couples.

    (If it's your first visit to the restaurant, then maybe sit near the door and don't have too much to drink, just in case hostilities break out. You'd think that the Laws of Hospitality would protect you, but my experience is that the restaurant staff don't care unless you're a regular and you've got a reputation for tipping at least 20%. I feel like the Laws of Hospitality died at the Red Wedding, too.)

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