Why is Making Friends So Hard?

Photo courtesy of rhodescollege.ca

I just want to let you know that there is actually no right way to make friends, but it is a possible outcome of the environments you put yourself in.

When I transferred from community college to university, my first concern was finding people I click with. Since I was a junior and most people make friends in their freshman year, I felt like this would be impossible. On top of that, I was 21 -years-old when I transferred and everyone I met was 18.

The very first thing I did was check the school’s calendar for events and went to the first one that interested me. I met some awesome people that night and fortunately two of them are still friends of mine today. I was really happy to finally have people to impulsively text and ask to go to events with me, but I wanted more friends. I became a ‘friends addict,’ so to speak. So, I would go to more events and as I collected friends, I would add them in my ‘invite list’ to other events where the cycle would continue.

Now, I had all of these friends and I still was not content. Granted, they are all so amazing and talented, but there was still someone missing: a best friend. So, my mission was to find someone to call my best friend, which is not something you pop up to an event and find. It had to be in someone I already knew.

I stopped going to events to find friends, but started enjoying the friends I finally made. Along the way, more friends appeared and I didn’t have to look for them this time. What I realized is that I didn’t have to look for friends if I was just myself. I became the person that I would want to be friends with instead of searching for people to be my friend.

So, here is the secret sauce: be yourself. No matter where you go, no matter how old you are, you will always have to interact with people. The first step is being the person that you would want to be around, and people will make their own assessments. Be patient with yourself, finding friends is actually very easy. We just overwhelm ourselves, so relax and enjoy the journey. The right people will come.

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